He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
