HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize