I looked at my own cervix.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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