Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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