C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
