i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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