hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
