I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize