Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
COCAINE IS GR8
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
