you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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