dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I am available for nakedness
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
