lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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