im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
