Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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