Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
