I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
