im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize