i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
