So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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