if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
