I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
