i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
