There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
