Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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