i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
