I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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