They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Randomize
