this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
