yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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