He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
