we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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