so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
