i just wanna soil my oats bro
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
