you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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