I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
