I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
