I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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