Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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