Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
