haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
