Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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