Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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