You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
