Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You smell like a Billy Joel song
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Boobs speak an international language.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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