He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
