You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
