Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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