M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
