somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Randomize
