Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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