I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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