You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
