i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You can't motorboat a personality
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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