I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
