At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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