Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
