the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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