worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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