Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
