I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
