Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
