i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
